pragueBlog

2003-11-04  

I have to start going to see DougieGyro more often. He says he made the crowd go crazy, and notes that the Akropolis seemed to be pretty popular with Spaniards last night. This is just a guess, but one of the reasons may be the visit to Prague of a reasonably prominent Spanish Flamenco dancer this week, an hombre called Juan Polvillo. My wife, who dances Flamenco herself and is a big fan of the man (attended his dance school in Spain), assures me he is well-known. So perhaps the local Spanish population is in partying mood in anticipation of his upcoming performance.

Speaking of said performance, my wife bought two tickets for his show after which her good friend decided she would really like to come along as well. So I was dispatched on my lunch hour to the theater - Divadlo ABC - on an extra ticket expedition. And there I met someone who has inspired me to name an a new, all-time, rude-ass, sour-puss Queen of Malevolence, heretofore unmatched (as far as I can remember) in my many years in Prague. And that, I assure you, is saying something.

I refer to the Box Office Lady at Divadlo ABC. Next time you are passing through Lucerna passage, take my advice and stop by and have a bit of fun. It's like visiting the zoo and observing an angry rattlesnake hissing and lunging at passersby. Only in the case of the snake you feel sorry for it. It yearns to be free. The Box Office Lady, however, deserves to be kept in a cage.

This I was unaware of as I approached the ornate old bars of the box office screen. She was sitting right there staring down at the countertop, doing nothing apart from moving a few pieces of paper around. Silence, no acknowledgement. The pleasant old background noises of the passage softly echoing behind me. I leaned in closer.

"Hello, I have two tickets to the Juan Polvillo performance on the 9th. I'd like to exchange these two for three together, or if that's not possible, to buy anoth...."

"NO REFUNDS! NO EXCHANGES! PERFORMANCE IS SOLD OUT!"

Jebus Montague Bejiminy! She had suddenly lashed forward toward the bars like Hannibal Lector! I'm not making this up.

"Uh, right. So, do you get any return...."

"I. SAID. IT. IS. SOLD. OUUTTT! NEXT!"

I know when to leave. But I let her know what I thought of her with my most sarcastic Thank You and evil eye stare. And then, of course, as I was walking back to the office about 11 other choice put-downs and rile-ups came to mind, all too late to do any good. So I contented myself with fantasies of revenge, all of them violent and all futile. These people are out there, you can't do much about them and by and large you learn to live with them. Even as you imagine their slow, agonizing and painful demise beneath the slowly turning treads of a giant construction bulldozer.

Steve | 15:35 |
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