pragueBlog

2003-12-16  

YOU SAUCY DEVIL, YOU:
"Let yourself be inspired by our delicious bits!"

Three guesses. Time's up. For a good chortle, browse through Crocodille's (Purveyor of "Sandwiches") English website. High production values, hit and miss in terms of communication. "Croco Life" is a whole section devoted to a flash movie reverentially praising the company's iceberg-lettuce-in-a-rickety-tub Caesar's salads. Croc o' shit, more like. Of course "Sortiment" gets translated "Assortment". And so on.

Read about how "We Bake Ourselves" (Ref.) and learn the answer to "How do we bake delicious bits?"

Once again, I must ask, with (supposedly) 10,000 native speakers of English clogging up this town, was it beyond Crocodille to snag one that had proofed a bit of Czenglish before? Apparently so.

The crowner, however, is this one: "Everything we bake is based on high technology". Getting hungrier! The "Technology" section is a real appetite suppressor. I can't believe what I'm seeing. Some kind schematic of a big production line, things going up and down (imagine the noise), things going in and coming out the end, automaton worker monotonously repeating the same motions over and over. One of the stages of the process occurs when

A set of knives cuts the row of sandwiches into pieces.

Those knives are whirling around pretty close to that worker's fingers. Don't think that about that next time you are contemplating a bacon turkey on wheat bread.

These guys basically own the market for crap sandwiches in a box. C'est la vie. Now something new: last night I was walking home along Vitezni namesti, and I passed right by a brand spanking shiny new Crocodille sandwich restaurant, in the Express or Subway style. If I'd seen a real crocodile I'm not sure I would have been more alarmed. But here they are. What are they going to serve? Their regular vaccum packed product? I wouldn't be surprised.

Don't go to the website to find out. There's not a thing there about it.

UPDATE: The Croco sandwich shop actually does make fresh sandwiches right there. Everything is on sale for half price as a promotional tool. A visitor reports

they make them in front of you. I wanted to taste them cause I am never going to buy one for 60 or 70 Kc. They have a strange taste I have to admit. J. didn't even finish his - w.chicken.

It's a sandwich. All that money invested and time wasted just to fuck up what is essentially a very simple thing.

Steve | 17:13 |
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